However progressive, humans are bound to have sweat dripping off their forehead if they have to share a room while a sex scene runs on TV. Especially if it’s with a parent! The feeling of secondhand embarrassment is universal to humanity, no matter what age you are strutting through.
So here are a few movies that need to stay strictly off-limits on family get-togethers or even movie nights with friends. Friends too yes! Unless of course, you share a blatant lack of respect for each others privacy.
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The Late Bloomer
Run Time: 90 min | IMDb: 5.2/10
The title marks the late onset of puberty for Peter Newmans who happens to be a sex therapist himself. Tragic? Well just wait until you see how the puberty that is 15 years late to arrive hits him overwhelmingly. All the mood swings and voice cracking happen in just one single month. The movie is strictly not recommended if you find it uncomfortable discussing sex out in the open. Directed by Kevin Pollack and starring Johnny Simmons in the lead role, this movie is a downright horny comedy.
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Below Her Mouth
Run Time: 94 min | IMDb: 5.5/10
A Lesbian romance that begins with two women discovering their sexual preferences when they meet each other over a weekend. With that begins a highly sensual and defiant tale of love. The scenes are every shade of lust, a lesbian desires in her wildest dreams. They are way too NSFW to be played in a company that does not approve of a generous sexual display. Directed by April Mullen, the not so praise worthy script, is an absolute erotica aimed at teens and night-loners.
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Nymphomaniac Vol I
Run Time: 117 min | IMDb: 6.9/10
Do we even have to guess after reading the title? Director Lars von Trier made quite a choice of using porn actors as body doubles to film the sex scenes and then using CGI to make it look like they were performed by real actors. The plot follows Joe (played by Charlotte Gainsborough) who is found in a bad shape in an alley. The movie is largely about Joe (a nymphomaniac) recalling the sexual experiences from her youth. With so much sex and extremely kinky stuff going on most of the time, the movie easily earns a safe spot in the list of NSFW movies.
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Immoral Tales
Run Time: 103 min | IMDb: 5.7/10
An anthology that features four stories with a vivid display of sexual desire and its manifestation across the series. But what apparently makes it a bad movie night contender are the silent, background score lacking, erotica-oozing frames. Ever had an uncomfortable experience when an extremely intimate scene pops up when with parents? You even stop breathing hoping they forget you exist in that moment. That’s exactly the kind of embarrassment this erotic flick is meant to ensue.
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The Package
Run Time: 94 min | IMDb: 5.5/10
The package seems like a safe way to address the entity they are actually trying to imply here. Wait till you find out what the discretion holds, highly protected in a cooler.
Whatever! It’s a Penis!
Already grossed out? Well then don’t watch, because the fate of the penis is way too worse than the hospitalized teen who chops it off with a switchblade. An unfortunate incident unfolds on a spring break, where one among the group of highly messed up teens incises his tenders and the group safely sends him to the hospital. Only with the wrong package! Could things go more wrong? Yeah! They are already high up the mountains by the time they realize their friend might just pay the price of their carelessness. A dark comedy aimed at saving genitalia, The Package is not for the feeble ones who mellow up jargon with euphemisms.
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The Little Hours
Run Time: 90 min | IMDb: 5.8/10
A young male appears at the door of a convent seeking refuge and projects himself as deaf and mute. One trip of thought and he blows up his cover! Speak of blasphemy and there is a lot going on in this convent full of vulnerable nuns. You might want to pass on this one if you have an aunt who strictly insists on saying “grace” before dinner and Amen after every single thought.
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Love
Run Time: 135 min | IMDb: 6.1/10
A 3D sexual adventure that will blow your mind with thrice the level of erotica. An artistic sex epic weaved with closely packed sex scenes and visuals of privates up for display, Gaspar Noé’s Love, created quite a buzz at the film festivals. The film is about a couple looking to amplify their sexual experience with a threesome but forget to factor in the emotional chaos it might lead to.
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Blue Is the Warmest Color
Run Time: 180 min | IMDb: 7.8/10
A poignant account of Adele’s romantic experience with a blue-haired woman- Emma!. Self-discovery is the crux of the story and inspiration ensues as Adele blooms in Emma’s presence. The story draws its plot from a novel and is quite a piece of art cinema. It however contains a long and intense scene of graphic sex hindering your desire of experiencing this beautiful tale of Lesbian romance.
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Y Tu Mamá También
Run Time: 106 min | IMDb: 7.6/10
This art drama directed by Alfonso Cuaron may particularly not be an oasis of vulgarity, but does contain a threesome of electrifying intensity. So definitely not safe to watch at work kind of movie! Cuaron cinema is bound to be a muscular script with underlying subtext. One thing we ought to remember is that art-house directors believe in “No compromises”. It is essential to bring out the depth and conviction in each character. And being a coming of age drama, Y Tu Mamá También demands at least some aggressive making out.
So the next time you decide to watch any of these movies, be sure to maintain a low profile.
